Any way you slice it, constructive criticism is hard to swallow. But forget what those early 2000s management books preached – the feedback sandwich method rarely helps. Not only is it ineffective and confusing, studies show that employees usually only remember the first and last pieces of feedback given.
The reality is, feedback doesn’t need to be sandwiched between compliments to be effective – it’s better to be direct and transparent in your approach.
And with the right examples and sample phrases, you can give direct reports the direct feedback they deserve.
What is the ‘sandwich rule’ in feedback?
The feedback sandwich is a management technique where critical feedback is squeezed between two layers of praise – like filling between two slices of bread. A manager might start with "Your presentations are always well-researched," follow with "but you need to work on your public speaking skills," and end with "and I really appreciate how receptive you are to feedback."
Popularized by Mary Kay Ash in the 1960s when she founded Mary Kay Cosmetics, this approach emerged during a time when corporate feedback was rare and often harsh. While well-intentioned, modern workplace research shows it's doing more harm than good – and even Mary’s namesake brand is evolving its HR approach.
"Giving a compliment sandwich might make the giver feel good, but it doesn't help the receiver," explains organizational psychologist Adam Grant.
The problems with this approach are well-documented. Leadership coach and organizational psychologist Dr. Laura Gallaher warns that the feedback sandwich can:
- Dilute the importance of critical feedback
- Create anxiety as employees learn to anticipate negative feedback after praise
- Damage trust when the praise feels forced or insincere
- Lead to selective hearing, where employees only focus on either the positive or negative components
“Your employee may focus on just the negative or positive comments rather than listening to the complete feedback. [And] because it tends to be contrived, it can hurt trust and build up negative anticipation when employees can feel it coming and are just waiting for the other shoe to drop,” writes Dr. Laura.
Instead of cushioning constructive criticism between two pieces of positive feedback, employees need clear, direct communication that respects their ability to handle honest feedback professionally.
What is an example of a compliment sandwich?
The basic ingredients for a compliment sandwich are: praise, criticism, praise.
Here are some classic feedback sandwich examples that illustrate why this approach falls flat:
- “Great job getting that report submitted on time! A lot of the analysis felt kind of off and didn’t really support the conclusions, but hey, I know how hard you worked on it.”
- “Thanks for jumping in and taking initiative on that client deck. It did feel like some of the data points were outdated, but you have such a great eye for visuals.”
- “You kept the energy high leading today’s team meeting! One thing to work on is giving others more space to share their ideas. But seriously, your enthusiasm is contagious.”
6 alternatives to the compliment sandwich (+ sample phrases)
Sometimes, you’ve got to be cruel to be kind. Bad news disguised as “nice” feedback isn’t going to help people grow, but clear criticisms delivered compassionately will.
Balance negative and positive feedback with these tips.
1. Let the employee know you have feedback
When you always lead on a positive note, you run the risk of drowning out the negatives – and nobody wants their feedback to fall on deaf ears. But you don’t want to dump heavy feedback on an unsuspecting employee either.
For optimal receptiveness, let employees know ahead of time that you’ve got some specific feedback for them. By giving them a simple heads-up, you also let them know you’re confident they can handle the type of feedback you need to deliver.
🗣️ Use these sample phrases to kickstart the conversation:
- “I’ve got some feedback to share with you about how the client call went. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
- “Let’s chat for a few minutes about your presentation from yesterday. I’ve got some ideas that I think could help for next time.”
- “I’ve been reviewing your recent work on the client deck, and I have a bit of feedback to go over. Is now a good time?”
2. Keep it action-focused
When managers offer too much praise and not enough criticism (or vice versa), it’s difficult for employees to improve. Real progress happens when leaders offer specific strategies for success.
Instead of falling back on stock phrases and vague blanket statements, pair your insights with action-focused feedback that will help your employees improve their skills.
🗣️ Try out these action-oriented sample phrases to keep the conversation productive:
- “To hit our engagement goals, we’ll need to adjust this concept. The core idea is there, but it needs a clearer CTA.”
- “This timeline needs a few shifts to better reflect the scope we agreed on. Let’s walk through the gaps together.”
- “Let’s revisit this deliverable to make sure it matches the quality and formatting we expect across departments.”
3. Offer feedback regularly
Effective feedback is frequent feedback. According to research from Gallup, 80% of employees who say they received meaningful feedback in the past week are fully engaged at work.
That’s why it’s important to go beyond the dreaded annual review with weekly check-ins, effective one-on-one meetings, and regular reinforcement of the feedback and action plans discussed.
🗣️ Use these sample phrases to keep the feedback flowing:
- “Let’s set up a weekly check-in to talk through your current projects and create space for regular feedback. What day works best for you?”
- “I started an editable agenda doc for our check-ins. Feel free to add anything you’d like feedback on or want to flag for discussion.”
- “Is there anything you’ve hit a wall on in the past week that we can problem-solve together?”
4. Provide opportunities for improvement
The ultimate goal of feedback is improvement. And no matter how skilled a team member is, there’s always more room to bloom.
Similar to the O in the GROW model, this tactic is all about identifying obstacles and paving new paths to overcome them. An easy way to turn corrective feedback into a learning opportunity? Ask leading questions and give employees a chance to identify their own areas of improvement.
🗣️ Try out these simple convo-starters to approach opportunities arm-in-arm with the employee:
- Instead of “This project is behind schedule,” try “What do you think is slowing progress here, and how can I help?”
- Rather than “You need to collaborate more with the team,” try “Are there any places in this project where more team input could help?”
- In place of “You didn’t follow the brief,” try “Let's review the brief together and identify where we might have diverged from the original requirements. What's your take?”
5. Embrace productive discomfort
Feedback conversations can feel messy, but using the sandwich approach to avoid difficult emotions actually undermines trust. According to Harvard Business Review, research shows that psychological safety – not comfort – is what enables teams to have the kind of conversations that drive improvement.
By being present for difficult emotions, you can build trust with employees and show that you care enough to want to make things better.
🗣️ Experiment with these sample phrases to dampen defenses and unlock growth:
- "I know this type of feedback can feel challenging to hear. I'm sharing it because I see your potential and want to help you succeed."
- "Let's acknowledge that this might feel uncomfortable, and that's okay. Growth often happens when we lean into these moments together."
- "I'm bringing this up because I care about your development. What support do you need as we work through this feedback?"
6. Know when to introduce a PIP
Sometimes regular feedback just isn't moving the needle. When you've had multiple conversations but things still aren't improving, it might be time to bring in a performance improvement plan (PIP).
Now, we know what you're thinking. PIPs have gotten a pretty bad rap over the years, often seen as the corporate equivalent of being sent to the principal's office. But when you approach them the right way, they can actually be super effective tools for getting everyone back on track.
Before you pull the PIP trigger, make sure you've:
- Given clear feedback (more than once!)
- Allowed enough time for changes to stick
- Been crystal clear about what "good" looks like
- Offered help and guidance along the way
🗣️ When it is time to have that PIP conversation, try keeping it real but kind with phrases like:
- "Look, I really want you to win here. Let's put together a game plan that maps out exactly what success looks like over the next [timeframe]."
- "We've talked about these challenges a few times now, and I think we could both use some structure to make sure we're on the same page. A formal action plan will help us track progress and make sure you have the support you need."
- "You bring some awesome skills to the team, which is exactly why I want to invest in getting this right. Let's create a roadmap together that helps us both see where we're headed."
Giving feedback: top dos and don’ts for managers
The numbers don’t lie: regular feedback increases productivity by 12.5% and reduces turnover by 15%. Here's your ultimate cheat sheet for giving feedback that actually drives results:
Do:
- Focus on specific behaviors. Instead of "you're disorganized," try "I noticed the last three client deliverables missed their deadlines. Let's look at your workflow and find ways to stay on track."
- Offer feedback often. Employees are 3.6 times more likely to do outstanding work when given daily vs. annual feedback. Schedule regular check-ins and create feedback loops that work.
- Create action plans. Don't just point out problems – partner on solutions. Each piece of feedback should come with clear, achievable next steps and resources for improvement.
Don’t:
- Delay difficult conversations. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Address issues while they're fresh and relevant. Quick tip: Use the 24-hour rule – aim to give feedback within a day of the triggering event.
- Take things out of context. Mistakes don’t happen in a vacuum. Make sure you include an employee feedback system so direct reports can share their view of the situation. Then work together to identify training or skills gaps.
- Make it personal. Avoid statements about personality ("you're too aggressive") and focus on impact ("when you interrupt colleagues, it makes it harder for everyone to contribute"). Always tie feedback to business outcomes and team goals.
Deliver constructive feedback in seconds with Perform
The sandwich technique doesn’t taste as good as it looks. But with a dash of honesty and a heaping scoop of action-based support, anyone can create a feedback process that works. And for hundreds of teams, Breezy Perform is the secret ingredient.
Built for modern managers who need to deliver meaningful feedback at scale, Perform takes the guesswork out of employee performance with:
- Auto-generated conversation starters that help you give clear, actionable feedback
- Ready-to-use templates for everything from weekly check-ins to annual reviews
- One-click feedback tools that make documentation quick and consistent
- Built-in goal tracking to measure improvement over time
Join hundreds of teams already using Perform to build stronger feedback cultures. Get started free for up to 10 employees and see why managers call it their “simple and stress-free” go-to for meaningful conversations.
